Been a while hasn’t it? I’ve been so busy. Currently I am moving house and I started a new job not too long ago! Oh and happy new year!
This is going to be such a positive and happy blog I’d like to hope.
Last year I was at my lowest point at the start of the year and really was not coping at all. My mental health had deteriorated to the point the word ‘tesco’ or ‘co-op’ would physically make me shake and feel nauseous and go into a panic attack. To most people it was so silly, but to me it was very very real.
I’ve come on in leaps and bounds since then, I hit rock bottom and I’m moving back up to the aster I used to be.
Last year, I couldn’t get out of the car, if you could even get me in it in the first place. I don’t know why, I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t face anyone or anything, I felt insane. I felt I was going nuts, I felt I had no one to turn to and my life was slowly spiralling out of my control.
I was so low, I didn’t know if I wanted to continue or not, and that’s not something I ever want to feel again.
I started my anti depressants at the start of the year and slowly with time they helped me. But it was up to me to get the old aster back.
Slowly but surely the old aster I love and know is coming back. I’m feeling better and better and more able as time goes on, but it will take time. I know I’ll never be fully me again but I don’t want to ever feel as low as I felt then.
The sad truth is you really learn who your friends truly are at your worst.
Jade my friend since I started secondary was a true blessing to me. I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to repay her, she picked me up at my worst and helped me. She took me out most evenings for walks and chips and just little things like that made me see the good in life.
Elliott is an angel. He’s so patient and calm with me and without him I wouldn’t have seen that I could do this. I couldn’t have done half the stuff I’ve achieved since hitting rock bottom without Elliott.
I met my best friend abbey last year and she’s helped more than she’ll ever know. I’m always going to be grateful and I love her to the moon and back.
I’m just so grateful to be feeling slowly and slowly better and I just want people to know it’s ok to have bad days (I’ve had my fair few!!!) and it’s ok to have slip ups and it’s ok to struggle. You are only human. You will get better and it will become manageable you need to hang in there. There is good.
Love aster x